We are awesome!
by arch-duke trip
Summary: A parody of every scenario in digimon fanfiction. Proof of how awesome the Adventure Zerotwo crews are. Rated T for language and violence. OOCness to the MAX!
1. Chapter 1

Author Note: Don't ask… I was bored…also I was trying to get myself deemed unfit for mainstream society...Anyway this is basically a parody of every scenario you find in fanfiction. We're starting with Crossovers.

Disclaimer: I wish I owned Digimon, I really do, then I could command my animators to draw this out just for shits and giggles.

* * *

Usagi Tsukino, also known as Sailor Moon, stood before a group of boys. At least I think its Sailor Moon. She's dressed as Sailor Moon, with the same hair style and same shoes but a much larger bra size and a much smaller skirt. She was also a bit taller. Anyway the buxom damsel, whom we believe to be Sailor Moon, was standing before a group of eight teenage boys. These boys went by the names of Taichi, Yamato, Koushiro, Jyou, Takeru, Daisuke, Iori and Ken. The aforementioned boys were staring, mouths agape, at various parts of the, aforementioned, damsel. This pleased Usagi.

"Hi," she said in a manner and tone befitting a common prostitute, "I'm Sailor Moon."

Usagi pushed her breasts together and pouted, sparking various nosebleeds from the boys.

As Sailor Moon continued to pose for, and seduce, the eight teenage boys, she failed to notice four decidedly angry looking teenage girls appear behind her. The four decidedly angry looking teenage girls went by the names Sora, Mimi, Hikari and Miyako. The four decidedly angry looking teenage girls each had an eerie fire burning in their eyes.

Suddenly Sora tackled the buxom damsel known as Sailor Moon to the ground and began punching her lights out. Mimi performed an elbow drop on the degenerate harlot and Miyako performed a leg drop. Hikari pulled out her trusty switch blade and joined in the fighting. Of course all of the fighting was done below the screen in case the producers decided to sell the episode to America, but the sound effects were still there.

Suddenly the fighting stopped and Hikari popped up, wearing Sailor Moon's tiara and scalp.

"Hi," she said in an extremely mocking fashion, "I'm Sailor Moon."

"Good Lord," Mimi said, holding up Sailor Moon's skirt, "And I thought _I_ wore short skirts."

Sora then appeared holding Sailor Moon's magic sceptre, "You are never going to believe where she kept this." She said.

"How much do you reckon I can pawn this brooch for?" Miyako asked.

"Excuse me," A voice said behind them, "Have any of you seen Sailor Moon?"

Sora, Mimi, Hikari and Miyako turned around, hiding the sceptre, skirt, tiara and brooch behind their backs and hiding Sailor Moon's carcass from the view of the innocent young damsel known as Sailor Mercury.

"No," Sora said, the picture of not quite so innocence, "I'm afraid we haven't."

Mimi looked at Hikari and saw that she was still wearing the late damsel known as Sailor Moon's scalp. Mimi hastily pulled it off Hikari's head and hid it behind her back.

"Not at all," Mimi added to Sora's comment with a smile.

"Well," Sailor Mercury said, somewhat dismayed, "if you see her can you tell her that several worlds are in peril and we need her awesomeness to save them."

"Alright we will," Sora said, smiling.

Sailor Mercury then disappeared into thin air.

"Oh fuck," Sora said as Mimi tried on Sailor Moon's skirt and scalp.

"Are we going to have to go and help them?" Hikari asked.

"Nah, they'll be right," Mimi said, putting on the tiara.

Miyako turned to Ken, "You see Ken," She said in a sweet voice, "this is what happens when you look at other girls, several worlds get destroyed."


	2. Chapter 2

Author note: Right, I'm finally going to solve the whole Digimon vs Pokemon debate. Oh, and I forgot to mention that when you're reading this, if you imagine the Chosen Children speaking with posh British accents it makes it much funnier, trust me.

* * *

Satoshi stood and sneered at the Chosen Children. He mocked them and abused them to try and get a reaction. However, the Chosen Children, being as awesome as they are, merely stood and ignored the arrogant little turd with a great sense of, quite righteous, superiority.

Eventually Satoshi gave up his attempt to embarrass the Chosen Children and endeavoured to try a different approach.

"I challenge you to a battle so that I can prove to you that Pokemon is superior to Digimon!" Satoshi exclaimed.

"Very well," Taichi, the leader of the Chosen Children, said, "We will accept your challenge, although, I daresay that, we will be the ones doing the proving. Koushiro! You're the second lamest of the group, battle him."

"Since when have I been the second lamest of the group?" Koushiro asked.

"Jyou overtook you between series' with the whole 'What the fuck happened to you over three years?' thing," Sora explained, puffing on her cigarette, which she had in a theatre length cigarette holder.

"Are we going to battle or what?" Satoshi interrupted rudely.

Iori slapped him across the face, "Speak when you're spoken to, filthy peasant," He said.

"You little shit!" Satoshi yelled, pulling his fist back to punch Iori. However he soon began screaming in agony because Sora was extinguishing her cigarette on Satoshi's forehead.

"Just you leave the lamest member of our group alone," She said, somewhat calmly.

"Oh, Iori's not the lamest member of the group," Taichi said.

"He's not?" Sora said, voicing several people's confusion.

"Oh no," Taichi said, "Daisuke is."

"Oh," Sora said, "that makes sense."

"Excuse me," Satoshi interrupted again, "Battle!"

"Yes, yes, very well," Koushiro said stepping forward, "Tentomon, if you please."

Tentomon flew up and landed in front of Koushiro. Satoshi moved a good five metres away and his Pikachu stood in front of him.

"Pikachu, thunderbolt!" Satoshi yelled, his Pokemon obliged and shot a yellow thunderbolt at Tentomon.

Tentomon simply stood there as the attack hit him. It proved to have absolutely no effect on him whatsoever.

"Weak," Tentomon said, "fucking weak."

"I'd like to see you do better," Satoshi yelled.

"Very well," Tentomon said, "Tentomon, warp shinka…HerculesKabuterimon."

"Oh fuck," Satoshi said as Pikachu involuntarily urinated on the ground.

"Giga blaster," the gigantic insect said, sending a far superior bolt of thunder at the small yellow rodent. Pikachu was burned to a crisp. HerculesKabuterimon then stomped on him, grinding his corpse into the ground.

Satoshi screamed like a little girl. He ran up and started beating pathetically at Koushiro's chest.

"No…you killed my Pikachu you bastard," he sobbed.

"Get off me you disgusting plebeian," Koushiro yelled, throwing a very second lamest in the group punch at Satoshi.

Satoshi fell to the ground and HerculesKabuterimon stomped on him.

HerculesKabuterimon then reverted to his child form and Hikari pulled out her trusty pink switchblade. She walked up to Satoshi's twitching corpse and removed his scalp.

She held it up, "How lovely," she said, "I've always wanted a scalp with a hat attached to it."


	3. Chapter 3

Author notes: Can you imagine what would happen if all of the chosen children were called to work together. I can, and this is the result. Enjoy, and please leave a review.

Disclaimer: See another chapter.

* * *

Somehow, somewhere, in a place that vaguely resembled the digital world. All of the chosen children had gathered, and I mean ALL of them, from every season. Of course the original Adventure and 02 chosen children were not particularly happy about it.

"I'm the fucking leader!" Taichi yelled at the circle of goggle boys, consisting of himself, Daisuke, Takato, Ryou, Takuya and Masaru.

"Why are you the leader?" Masaru challenged.

"Because I was the first leader," Taichi shot back.

"And that just automatically makes you the best candidate does it?" Takuya asked.

"Listen buddy," Daisuke threatened, "you are nowhere near Taichi's calibre."

"Yeah," Takato concurred.

"Don't you enter this argument," Taichi said, "you barely come into the equation, nancy boy!"

Meanwhile, quite close by, Yamato stood in another large circle of boys, this one consisting of Yamato, Takeru, Ken, Jenrya, Kouji, Kouichi and Tohma. Instead of shouting, this group was simply standing in silence, with looks of utmost content.

"I think we can all agree," Yamato said softly, "That we are sexy beasts."

A general murmur of agreement went around the circle.

Mimi, who was smoking a cigarette from a theatre length cigarette holder, walked up to Ruki and Izumi, "I'm the skanky hoe," She said, "and none of you can take it away from me."

"Oh please," Ruki said, snidely, "you think guys will go for you?"

"Guys don't like that, street crawler look," Izumi added.

Mimi just laughed haughtily, "Very well," She said, "A contest then."

"You're on," Ruki said, turning around to face the goggle boys, "Hey, goggle boys!" she yelled, getting their attention.

When the goggle boys turned around, Ruki lifted up her shirt, showing her breasts to the bickering brunettes. The boys stared for a second, and a couple of them wolf whistled and cat called, before turning back around to continue arguing. Ruki looked annoyed.

Izumi laughed, "Watch this. Goggle boys!" She yelled.

Izumi repeated the action, and got even less of a reaction.

Mimi laughed haughtily and took another drag on her cigarette.

"Watch this," She hissed, puffing smoke out. "Goggle boys," she said sweetly.

The group of goggle boys turned around again and Mimi slowly and seductively opened her shirt to the boys. The boys' eyes widened, their faces turned into grins and blood started spurting from each of their noses.

Mimi closed her shirt and turned back to Izumi and Ruki.

"Well," she said.

"Fine," Ruki said, through clenched teeth.

"You can be the slut," Izumi said in a similar matter.

"Thank you," Mimi said, walking off to join Sora and Hikari.

Sora, who also had a cigarette burning in an opera length cigarette holder, was talking to Yoshino, Juri and Hikari.

"…since we're all the kind, sweet and caring girls, I think we can get along quite swimmingly." She said, nods of agreement coming from the other girls.

"Well this is boring," Mimi said. She turned around and quickly caught sight of Kenta and Kazu, standing, on their own, in the distance. She turned around again as fast as she could, eyes wide.

"What is it?" Hikari asked.

"Do you think those guys saw me?" Mimi asked.

"Who?" Hikari inquired.

"Those weird looking guys over there!" Mimi said, jutting her head backwards.

Hikari looked over at Kenta and Kazu discreetly. "No," she said.

Mimi let out a sigh of relief.

"Who are those guys anyway?" Hikari asked.

"Oh," Jeri exclaimed, "they're Kenzu and Kata, or something like that, they're just useless groupies."

Hikari, Sora, Mimi and Yoshino all shuddered.

"Oh fuck it, I give up!" Miyako screamed, ripping up her test paper and stalking away from Koushiro, Jyou and Junpei, who we're all taking IQ tests to see who got to be the smart one.

Jyou also ripped his up and went off to join the sexy group.

As Miyako went to join Mimi, Sora and Hikari, she passed Tomoki, Shiuchon and Iori, who was still going strong as only the fourth lamest in the group, who were all arguing very loudly.

"I'm the cute insignificant one!" Iori screamed.

"Like hell you are," Tomoki yelled, "my digimon form is a bloody teddy bear made of snow!"

"Mine turns into a fucking TEA KETTLE!" Iori shot back.

"I'm more cute and insignificant than both of you combined!" Shiuchon shrieked.

"Oh yeah," Iori yelled, "how insignificant?"

"My digimon was in ONE fight in the whole bloody series!" Shiuchon screamed.

"Wow," Tomoki said, rather taken aback, "that is insignificant."

"I concur," Iori said, "and I concede,"

"So do I," Tomoki said.

Iori then went off to join the smart ones and Tomoki tried his luck with the goggle boys before being kicked out and having to join the useless groupies.

"Hey, Izumi," Ruki said, "check out the arse on Yamato."

"Mmm," Izumi moaned, "he's like a living Adonis."

"I would so do him…" Ruki said, grinning.

"Oh god yes," Izumi exclaimed, in ecstasy at the thought of it.

"…and then I'd do Takeru…"

"Yes,"

"…and Ken…"

"Yes!"

"…and Jyou…"

"YES!"

"…all at once."

"YES!!!" Izumi screamed, moistening herself.

Unfortunately for Ruki and Izumi, their little conversation had been heard by Sora, Mimi, Hikari and Miyako, who were now standing behind them and glaring at them with a hatred filled fire burning in their eyes that had not been seen since chapter one. Hikari pulled out her trusty pink switchblade and… well needless to say Ruki and Izumi did not return to their own worlds/timelines and Hikari returned to hers with two new scalps to add to her ever-growing collection.

Meanwhile, in a far off, undisclosed location, the evil that had drawn all of the chosen children together saw what it had done and promptly committed suicide in repentance for causing such a horrible abomination.

With the threat gone all of the chosen children returned to their original worlds/timelines and the Adventure/02 group continued being practically superkalafrickenawesome in every way.

The end.


End file.
